I’m Not Perfect And It’s Okay

Kathleen Mortland Photography

Kathleen Mortland Photography

Nobody is perfect, right? It took me 29 years to completely understand this simple statement.


To be clear, I have always understood that nobody is perfect. Duh. I’ve heard it a million times in my life. Yet I still spent my entire life striving for perfection.


 Some time last year I realized that I was working to keep up an image. An image of perfection. Because I felt that people expected greatness from me. And to be fair, I have high expectations of myself.  I have always feared letting people down. I did well in school, stayed out of trouble, and always did what I “should”. Like the perfect little girl. I’ve carried these expectations into my adult life by never wanting anyone to see me fail or refusing to admit when I need help. But adulting doesn’t work that way. Perfection does not exist. I had to learn to embrace my mess.


I thought I had to be the perfect mother in order to be a good mother. My mom is an amazing woman. The best mom in the world. To this day, I do not understand how she does what she does. When I became a mother, I knew that I wanted to be just like her. And oh boy, did I try. I tried so hard that I nearly drove myself crazy. About a year into motherhood, I had to keep it real with myself: I am NOT my mother. And that’s okay. I’m Chaz. I get overwhelmed at times, my sink is full of dishes, and I’m liable to leave the house without diapers. I’m a mess most days, but I’m still an amazing mother. I take excellent care of my daughter. She is smart, healthy, and growing gracefully. More than anything, she loves her mama! Flaws and all.


As women, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We have to be the picture perfect wife/girlfriend and mother, on top of having a successful career. We need to look perfectly: our hair, face, eyebrows, nails. Our bodies must be on point. We have to be the best dressed. On top of having it all together at all times. Who can realistically do this? Why must we put this pressure on ourselves?

I can only be me and that is all I want to be. Relieving the pressure of perfection has been freeing. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Today, I proudly admit that I am not perfect. Not even close.

Be proud of the person you are. No matter how big the mess.